Battle's and 9 yr old sweetness....

New battle's on our hands.  I'm feeling scared.  Mostly because of the unknown.  It's not just one thing, but there is so much unknown right now.  

And I feel very uneasy.

Everything is on hold right now...and I'm trying to think of what the next step needs to be.  

Chris is wanting to go to the Philippine's for his care.  I understand that he would want to be with his family.  And they want to be with him.  I'm sure they all are very concerned and worried as much as we are. 

However, I would want to be with him through all of this.  It would be a foreign country to me, and not my native language. 
What if something happens to him???

Everything is done differently there.  And I've been trying to explain that to my parents.  I just don't know what to do.  

His health is the MOST important thing.  Something needs to be done, and the SOONER the better.  I'm almost panicking!  He wants to put off the Ct and Xrays so we can do it down in the Philippine's.  I just don't know if it is spreading or how bad it is yet.  I just know that the Dr. made it clear that they need to remove it ASAP!

I would like to bring Alexis, but she is worried about going there in the heat.  Heat hits her differently.  She's never been away from me for more than a night. 

But I don't think she realizes that I won't be able to fly home just like that.  

Then depending on the type of cancer it is, who knows what would happen next.  He may require more help.  And maybe Chemo.

There is just so much to consider.  I'd need to apply for a passport...which could take several weeks.  OR....if I drive to Seattle I could get it in a day.  BUT, that would be 10 hours of driving for me. 

I will not be working here in the next couple of weeks...and I am assuming, Chris won't either.   So, I am terrified of that, too. 

Oh my gosh....I'm so upset.  I can't even think.  

I want to share a card that Alexis, my 9 year old daughter made for Chris.  

It reads:
Dear Chris,

Me, mom and Curt are thinking of you.  Just believe that you can do it and it will never bring you down.

I know it is scary but when  you have all your family then you won't feel so scared.  We love you!  October 14, 2011

Alexis & Julie  (this was from her, but she signed my name :))

I thought this was so sweet that she made this for him.    She keeps saying that she will be there for him and telling him that she could hold his hand while they are putting the needle's in his arm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXIS!!! Today you are 9 years old.

Nine years ago October 8th 2002, I gave birth to the most amazing little girl in the world. 
Her name is Alexis Suzanne.  And she is the light of my life.  

It wasn't easy, my pregnancy was difficult.  And the labor was even more difficult.  But that is alright little sweetie.   Mommy had placental abruption.  And the day we went into the hospital, I had been suffering from a rare pregnancy rash called "PUPS".  It looks like measles and is terribly itchy.  This is why they admitted us, and induced me.  

At 3 months along in the pregnancy, they told me that my placenta was tearing away from the uterus.  So, I was on bed rest for a month.  Then on restriction.  By the time I gave birth, the placenta didn't deliver.  So, mommy was sent into surgery.  They had to remove the placenta.  And Mommy was hemorrhaging very bad.  I believe it was about midnight when I was out of surgery. 
This is when your daddy told me that you had a lot of birth marks all over your face and head. 
I was concerned for you.  The Dr. reassured us that you were alright.  And that the birth marks would hopefully fade. 
You were so beautiful to me in every way!
You make my life complete.  And you are worth everything to me. 

Alexis dear, you have had the most difficult year, yet.  And I am sorry.  Mommy would gladly step into your shoes if I could.  I would take every blood draw, MRI, surgery, all of that if I could for you.  
I know you have been scared and this hasn't been easy.  

Mommy is so proud of you, Alexis.  You are one of the bravest people that I know.  



I know at times, it is hard to be brave and strong.  But you are doing it....even when you don't realize it, you are so strong. 
You make me so proud.   And I love you with all my heart.  


Alexis, you came into this world 5 weeks early.  You surprised everyone with your presence.  They were prepared to send you off to Spokane, WA to the Hospital there since you were so early.  But, you were strong even as a baby.  You were born a fighter!  

You were 6 pounds.   Only 18" long.  And so tiny, but adorable!   And you had a full head of Black curly hair.  And you were amazingly strong.  


Alexis, you captured people's hearts from the second you were conceived.  Mommy was in labor from October 6th ~ 8th.    We were in the hospital for a week. 
If I remember right, there were at least 40 people that came to the hospital while I was in labor.  

We took 2 pickup loads of gifts home for you.  Thankfully, daddy and papa had two big pickups.  

You were jaundice the first week you came home.  And had to go back to the hospital.  But you were alright.  

The 2nd week, mommy became very sick.  I ended up in the hospital and the Dr.'s didn't know what was wrong with me. 
So, together, you and I went to the hospital.  We were there for a week.  
Mommy ended up having an emergency surgery after a week of pain and not knowing what was wrong.  
We found out that the lining in my stomach area had become infected.  And they removed part of that, part of my intestine, and my appendix.  

So, little Alexis, you and I have been through so much and together we shall overcome things that are scary.  We will always come through things with our heads held high.  

You are my hero, Alexis and I love you with all my heart. 


Mommy

The circle in middle is her spinal cord and the SYRINX.  It was 10.9 mm width of spinal cord.

The white stuff in the middle of spinal cord is the SYRINX filling her spinal cord.  :(

The SYRINX is curving her spinal cord

The SYRINX is located from C3 ~ T10 which means it is extending from below the brainstem all the way into the Thoracic part of her spine.  It is HUGE!